Sometimes, to become successful and get closer to the person you can become, and have that career you so desperately want, you don’t need to add more things or rehash the same subject over and over without resolution. We need to learn how to stop that insidious noise in our heads, or I like to call it “The Brat,” that we allow to talk to us in a way we would never actually talk to anyone else as it can rip us to shreds. And because each of us has a different interpretation/definition of what success means to us, it is your personal journey to get where you want to go. None of us is hard wired the same way, so how could there possibly be only one option to becoming successful. So, the first step to success is to continue your work on getting to know yourself, warts and all. It’s time to let go, to give up on some of the thoughts, feelings, inner chatter, ideals, habits and conditions or rules you have given and set for yourself.
I’m going to give you a few ideas to get you started… then it’s up to you to follow through, monitor, adjust and fine tune what you have put in place. Then give it a go again, etc. You have to give it a real go before you can say it isn’t working. You will know in your gut whether or not you are on the right path. Sometimes, that can be shocking and even painful, but worth the work. So… shall we get started?
- I think one of the biggest issues today, is that everyone wants to be liked. Sure who wouldn’t want to be liked? But most times that involves playing a slightly different role for each friend, and family member to help make them feel important and liked. What??? Or how about when you audition? Do you want to be liked by those listening, or do you want to get a job by not making it personal or emotional but understanding that this is business, your business. And you have a product to sell. Sure, know that no matter what, some people won’t like you and some people won’t agree with you. That’s how life roles. Terry Kole-Whittaker wrote a great book you might want to add to your library called, “What You Think of Me Is None of My Business”. That means that when you stop trying to please everyone, you get to be in the moment without becoming emotional, actually giving your full, undivided attention to what is being said. You get to listen without being in your mind trying to come up with some witty or insane repartee. Give it a go and see how calm and engaged you feel.
- There is no magic bullet to becoming successful. Everyone has their own path, their own plan to follow. As I often say to my students, “It takes as long as it takes.” Who cares what others are accomplishing. Good for them. When you start focusing on what you need to do and how you need to get it done, things start happening. There is no such thing as an overnight success. It’s simply putting one foot in front of the other and getting each step set so you have built a solid foundation to make your next step count. Each and every day you have to do something toward reaching your goal even if it’s a small step. You are the only one responsible for what you do and how you do it.
- There is no such thing as PERFECT!!! Each individual who believes in this often becomes ridged and afraid of failure (or even fear of success) which often prevents you from taking action and putting your talent out there in the world. This limits the opportunities that will be lost if you wait for the things to be right. Our industry is very subjective. So don’t waste your time to second guess why they said “no” or you weren’t chosen. That’s a waste of time and energy. Move on to the next opportunity instead and keep honing your product with what you learn from presenting it the last time. You can’t control everything or everyone and you are not responsible for them, you are responsible for you and your career path.
- Sacrifice is the name of this career game. Some people may think you are selfish because you are putting almost all your time, energy and money into your career and what that entails. Why wouldn’t you? They might also be afraid of losing their previous relationship with you because you continue to grow and change and they don’t. That’s OK.
So… you can make whatever you want to make of your life and career. It’s up to you! Don’t waste your resources of time, energy and money trying to please others, beat your head against the wall trying to make somebody else’s plan of action work for you or continue to try to be perfect (whatever that means)! Care about and for yourself and your needs first. It’s like on an airplane, they tell you if you are with a child, always put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then you can help the child. And remember that if you don’t make something out of your own life, someone else will.
Avanti. Ciao until next time. - Carol
