The Power of Owning Your Own Story!
Thank you to the readers who have reached out to me with thanks and gratitude for our year-long dive into the guiding principles of AriaReady. There were also questions about how to broaden your thinking to incorporate these key principles into your daily work as you build your career. While my answer was different for each of your questions, the basic framework was the same for all of them: whatever the problem or opportunity, figure out what is expected from you, from this meeting (lesson, gathering, etc), know what you’re truly responsible for, and make sure you show up prepared. Don’t just do what you’ve always done. Be better. Do whatever it takes to make them feel pleasantly surprised. Let them see your willingness to make strong, solid connections with others. Be more than ready!
Welcome to the next installment of our deep dive into the *second of the four cornerstones of the AriaReady System. This month, we will continue to explore Knowing Who You Are from the inside out.
In the AriaReady world, we believe two things to be true: first, everything is connected. So, what does that mean? Life is not a battle to be won. It’s an interconnected relationship to be shared. When you understand this and are willing to embrace the concept, life will, in turn, embrace you with support and opportunities well beyond what you might find by fighting your way to the top.
And second, not everyone sees you the way you see yourself. What does that mean? That means we all have a perception gap. And that gap manifests itself in two ways. The first is internal, it’s from the POV of the artist within you, that place that knows things about you that others do not. The perception others have of you is different from what you know yourself to be. And the second is external, your understanding of your Relationship with others, to varying degrees, is not the same as others’ understanding of the same relationship. This month, we’re going deeper to discover the Power of Owning Your Own Story.
As a singer, talent, vocal technique, and even connections are only the beginning; the real secret to a sustainable and fulfilling career lies in knowing who you are at your core. Most singers spend their time reacting to your industry’s demands, but when you choose to "own your story," you move from reacting to circumstances to living your life on purpose. This process of self-discovery allows you to liberate the artist within you by getting to know and like the true person inside the singer. The good, the not so much, and yes, even those really ugly bits that only you know about. Because the truth is that almost everything you fear or wish to hide isn’t really that bad at all. It’s just that you’ve (or you’ve let someone else) label them that way.
To own your story, you need to know what the heck it is. Can you distinguish between your Anima—your true, most inner self—and your Persona—the self you reveal to the world? Often, singers, just like everyone else, tell a story they think others want to hear and want to see. Or, you’ve modeled yourself after someone else. Either of these can feel fake and uncomfortable to the people you meet in this business. And worse yet, even to yourself. Owning your story means merging these two into a Personal Brand that is a powerful, clear, and positive idea of who you are. When you are congruent on the inside, you become consistent on the outside, allowing others to feel they can trust you. When people meet for the first time, even if they were introduced by a mutual friend, the first few seconds for both people are focused on only one thing: can I trust them? And that answer comes, primarily, from their evaluation of just how congruent you feel, sound, and present yourself.
The other side of that is your story can be sabotaged by an internal dialogue from what AriaReady has come to call "The Brat"—usually, your brat is somewhere around a four- or five-year-old in your brain that thrives on feelings rather than facts. Their voice uses "put-down" words that act as silent killers, affecting your mood and performance. Owning your story requires not only recognizing this brat of yours, but also getting to know them and becoming familiar with what they want and expect from you so they get it. Then, and only then, can you and your brat sit down and create some updated ground rules. I know it sounds crazy, but, yes, you can reprogram your brat and replace its negative chatter with a new, productive program that works for you instead of against you.
The "leave behind" of your story is your Personal Mission Statement. A simple mantra that keeps your brand alive in their mind, providing a sense of purpose and continuity, one that puts you into their future. When your core values and mission are in alignment, the result is a unified commitment to bold, enthusiastic, and often outrageously effective action.
By owning your story from the inside out, you don't just avoid problems and capture opportunities; you become the active force in your own life and career.
Remember, the process or mindset that has brought you to where you are today can also be what prevents further improvement if some aspect of it carries a negative context or label. To improve is to change. Do the experiment, take the small risk of potential discomfort that comes with doing something new. Be brave. You can evaluate it afterward. If it works, keep it. If not, learn the lesson and move on. There’s no harm in that, but the benefits can be life-changing. Dare yourself to stop, “Take A Beat,” and make a change that makes a difference!
Let me know if I’ve missed anything, or if you’d like to go deeper in any aspect of building your Personal Roadmap for success.
Be the example of how you’d like the world to be.
Happy May (Can you believe it's May already?)
Until next time,
Avanti and Ciao,
David
*The Four Cornerstones of the Aria Ready Process are:
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