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Part I - Relationships - Relationships - Relationships!

Once you have advanced to the professional stage of a singing career, you have to know that getting the role, the job, is no longer a matter of being the most liked, most popular person or even the one who everyone agrees with in the room. And as a professional making yourself the one who is overtly humble always apologizing and making excuses for everything like it’s all your fault, like you are the inferior one not worthy of this career is a definite put off for those hiring. And it’s also, at this stage of the game, much more than thinking of just getting better at performing and improving your vocal technique. Those are childish ways and it’s time to stop playing that game. Now is the time to take a step out of that emotionally charged and negative self fulfilling behavior and start a new era that is about doing business, just doing your job as a professional singer.

Once you are presenting yourself as a professional singer, you have to become an entrepreneur. It’s time to find your best way of being consistent in your behaviors, purpose, and method of doing business. You have to have a clear idea of what your deep, core values are, so you can enter and participate in this new game with confidence by becoming consistent and professional. You need to know what this new game is, what the rules are and most importantly, how this game is played. It’s time to change gears and ramp up your growth curve. Sure it’ scary, but only because you don’t know what is expected of you or have a clear understanding of where to find this kind of information and then how to do it.

"A brand name is more than a word. It is the beginning of a conversation." - Lexicon

Let’s start with talking about relationships because that is what all business is about; creating and maintaining relationships. You all have many parts of yourselves. It’s up to you to meet and greet each one. Get to know them all well. As an example, “the Brat” that inner dialogue you have with yourself is one of these relationships. Another might be with your family, mother/father, sister/brother, aunts/uncles then there are peers/friends and so on. We all play many roles within our lives and for the most part we behave differently for each of the roles that we play which in my book is exhausting and lots of unnecessary work. Start noticing how your own behavior and habits change as you switch from role to role throughout your day. Until you can recognize that this is your particular habitual behavior pattern it will be impossible for you to make any meaningful changes that will stick. Once you have opened these flood gates of recognition you will not be able to go back to how you did things before. Now would be the time to discover your unique and authentic self so you can work more from your strengths while understanding and appreciating your weaknesses.

"Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.” - Tom Krause

You start this process by defining what your core values are, where you draw your line in the sand when it comes to saying, “No, I can’t or won’t go beyond this point. This is where I make my stand.” You can often find this by looking into your past and reviewing the “ah ha” moments that occurred that made a switch, a change in the way you thought. You were able to look at, hear and feel how this changed you and the rules by which you played. Write down these words that come to mind no matter how many there are or what they are. Then when you feel you have exhausted your bank of “ah ha” moments, condense your list of words. After reviewing your list, you might find that several of these words actually mean the exact same thing to you and can be condensed to perhaps just one of those words. You might help yourself with this process by using a Thesaurus. Go through this progression until you have condensed your meaningful “ah ha” moments into just a few powerful words. Remember that you are not trying to explain this to anyone else; these words just need to strike a chord, give you a glimpse, and touch your soul deep inside. This is just for you alone. You don’t have to share this with anyone else. These few words just need to make sense to you and stir you at your core.

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.” - Win Borden

Once you have found that, create for yourself a short meaningful sentence that rings true, looks perfect and you feel at the gut level, starting with the words “I am committed to (now it’s time to choose what you can commit to which is usually stated in tandem with some action verb) being courageous, (follow that with) for myself and others ( if you can’t treat yourself that way, how can you honestly treat others that way,) next if you feel it is necessary you can add other of your core values – i.e. with integrity, candor and appreciation.

I am committed to being courageous for myself and others with integrity, candor and compassion. (This is just an example; it might not hold any meaning for you whatsoever. You need to do your own inner work and find just the right balance of words that stir your soul.)

This then becomes your Personal Mission Statement that stands behind and backs your Personal Brand, the product you want to sell. It doesn’t have to be shared with anyone else, make sense to anyone else, be explained to anyone else, it only has to have a deep resounding meaning within you. It becomes your touchstone, your anchor keeping you strong in your new found intentions when you want to run back to the old way of doing things, of doing business. It is purpose driven and gives you courage and strength to show the world your unique and authentic self. It allows you to play all the many roles in your life with the same behaviors, with a new kind of honesty and thoughtfulness. It is a statement that you need to memorize and have at the forefront of your thinking mind so that when you reach a difficult situation, conversation, decision, choice, you can weigh it against your Personal Mission Statement (PMS) to see if it look, sounds or feels in sync. If it does great, if it doesn’t, take the time to consider what about it might be adjusted, changed or dropped so your decision is in line with and is supported by your PMS. Using this process will give a new kind of clarity to all you do. You can use it across the broad spectrum of all your relationships including the most important one, the one with yourself. And don’t expect everyone to like you or agree with you just because you have done this work. Remember, what you think of me is none of my business.

As Oprah says, "If you don’t know who you are on the inside, it is impossible to be successful at anything."

So before you can tackle the next part of career building, doing business successfully, you need to complete this first big and important step. Having worked through the process of putting your Personal Mission Statement in place will give you the confidence to start practicing good business tactics. Next month’s Aria Ready Newsletter will give you several of these important and successful business tactics to strengthen your Personal Brand. Having all of this knowledge, skills and tools is only worth the time and energy you choose to put into the practice of them each and every day. It’s time to let go of your emotional investment in staying stuck just where you are and step up to the plate. Don’t wait another minute to get over the uncertainty, mystery and fear of getting to know where you draw your line in the sand by discovering and introducing to the world your unique and authentic self. Then moving on to doing business without getting entangled in your emotions and taking everything personally leaves you free to experience success.

If you want some help through this process, please feel free to contact me at carol@ariaready.net. This is way too important to put off or inadvertently create something that doesn’t truly work for you. Email me!!!!!!
Avanti and Ciao until next time,
Carol

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